Relationships and Other Thoughts

Backstory:  I was driving around today–pretty happy with myself for landing a date this evening–listening to music.  I was deciding whether or not to put music on this evening just as background noise–you know, filler.  Something to take away the awkward silences that will naturally occur as you try and formulate questions to ask the other person.

Whoa!!! How many of you said to yourself, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” or “Yeah, I’ve done that.”  Well maybe I am masochistic, but I got to thinking about it.  I started thinking about how “fake” of an idea it was to put music on in the background to set the mood or act as a carry over.  If you can’t talk to the person with out awkward silences, then where is that relationship going?

You don’t even have to look at it from a male/female-dating-because-I’m-interested-in-you-relationship standpiont.  I started thinking about the music in the background when my sister and I are going places.  I know she want’s the radio on so she doesn’t have to talk as much–so there isn’t the awkward silence between us.  What kind of relationship is that?  Where one family member can’t talk to another.  We’re supposed to be close–flesh and blood.

I didn’t turn on the radio for the date.  And later in the evening when I picked my sister up, I didn’t turn on the radio then either.  There were awkward pauses, and one big quiet stretch with my sister.  But I tried to fill them to the best of my ability.

Just think about it.

I also thought about stuff like make up and hair gel. Fake.

Whatever.  I had a nice time on my date.

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Other thoughts on today.  Confidence.  Get some.  I was brimming with it earlier and am pretty physced about that too.  I was talking with a girl this evening (not my date) about school and how I was taking classes in what I wanted to learn.  She said I was lucky–yes and no.  Yes because I have the flexibility to take whatever I want to learn, no because I have no direction in the eyes of society.

But that made me think also–she said that her schedule was too tight to take extra classes; earlier I heard someone say that school X had a very rigid schedule–why do we commit ourselves to things that we don’t want to do?  I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up–at least not totally.  I know things I am going to have to do, but I would like to learn in a variety of areas–after I do that maybe I can focus.  It just doesn’t seem logical to come out of high school and commit yourself to a program so rigid and focused that you don’t get anything but what society designed for you.

What if that isn’t you?  Who would you have been if you questioned your decided path? Or made your own?  I am paying the money for school, shouldn’t I be able to choose what I want to learn?  You can’t tell me that they won’t accept my money indefinitely.  Be it 4 years or 6 til I graduate, what do they care?  I may drive their statistics in some strange direction, but I pay them.

Am I lucky?  I don’t think it’s luck.  I think it’s concious choice, voluntary action.  No more of this “go to school so you can get a good job” that they pump into you from the 2nd grade.  What is a good job?  One that you suffered four or more years for?  One that you may not enjoy but are in it because you will have to support a family?

I have to do it differently.  I always walked parallel to the norm, and now it is my norm.

Listen to Kanye West’s “School Spirit” song and skit lyrics.  It puts some insight on life.

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[00:09] *** Auto-response from : Wanting to be someone you’re not is a waste of the person you are.
[00:09] pyrosarco: sorry i got wrapped up in a blog post
[00:09] pyrosarco: and i disagree with your away message
[00:10] pyrosarco: if you look at it from the point of actually aquiring the person’s life like me becoming kanye west or someone like that, then yes, it is a waste of the person i am
[00:10] pyrosarco: but i have the choice to change my actions and then change my person.

Free Won’t Be What It Used To Be

Today I got Louis XIV’s album that came out in January–Slick Dogs and Ponies.  However, I couldn’t find lyrics for Free Won’t Be What It Used To Be.  I thought other people might like to have them, so I worte them out as best as I could.  In some parts it is a bit hard to hear what is being said.  Feel free to comment about changes that need to be made.

I am also responsible for putting them on the Lyrics Plugin for Winamp.  So you may find them there.

Free Won’t Be What It Used To Be - Lyrics