I believe that God is just in all his actions.
My argument goes like this.
We can not as humans put a label on God as good or bad, because we can not understand the reason of all his actions.
God preforms his actions with justice, and that’s just how it is.

Before we left dinner last night my friend suggested I read through Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis.
I picked up a copy of it last evening and have made it through the first book of the three enclosed.
In the first book in the final chapter Lewis addresses the reader with a ‘Cause to be Uneasy.’

The first passage I want to cite is this:

It is no use, at this stage, saying what you mean by a “good” God is a God who can forgive. You are going to quickly. Only a person can forgive.

The second is this:

…unless the power behind the world really and unalterably detests that sort of behavior [referring to human greed and trickery and exploitation], then He cannot be good. On the other hand, we know that if there does exist an absolute goodness it must hate most of what we do.

This portrays a conflicting idea of God.
If He detests these bad actions completely He is good, but through hating them He would be shown to be evil.
As I said before, I don’t think we can label God’s feelings or actions as good or evil.
We have to accept that He is outside of being confined by these words.

God said to Moses, “I am who I am.”

Exodus 3:14, NIV

God is just.
In both meanings of the word.

One more thought from C. S. Lewis.

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth.

My argument was based off the actions of Jesus healing people and David wining battles.
Both I felt could be explained by their drawing on the power of thought to influence others to actualize events and thus circumventing the need for God.
Upon more discussion and more thought, I realized that in Exodus their is a display of God’s power and interaction with humans that extends beyond him speaking to David and healing through Christ.
God demonstrates his power cosmically while working to belittle Pharaoh and free his people from enslavement in Egypt.

In Exodus 10, God plagues Egypt with darkness.
In Exodus 7, God plagues the Nile waters with blood.
In Exodus 12, God kills every firstborn in Egypt.

God also sends frogs, gnats, flies, locust, boils and hail–all of which you would be able to convince me could be coincidental if they didn’t happen in rapid succession and weren’t included with the cosmological plagues.

Based on this scripture, I feel safe in refuting my argument of self-actualization replacing God.

Need I remind you:

Is there a God or are we just self-actualizing our own goals and desires as we perceive them through a ‘god’ conscious?
Why doesn’t God interact with us the way he did with people in the Old Testament, one-on-one?
Where and when is there going to be a permanent update to a seemingly passive Bible/God/foundation of Christianity?

Yes, I am struggling–the idea of abandonment seemed appropriate.

But it wasn’t what I expected.
There was no idea of a human separating oneself from God.
No insight on how to combat this, or an argument against it.
It was all about the abandonment of self into God’s holiness based around the scripture John 3:16.
We lose ourself in Him “because the whole life is taken up with the One to Whom we abandon.”

What this said to me tonight paired with other feelings throughout the week:
The thought of actual abandonment of God, the idea of a God, et cetera, leaves me feeling empty.
I felt empty this week as I avoided God.
For my foundation to be correct I need to realize that “the whole life is take up with” God.
I am scared of this and feel naive.
I feel selfish for seemingly making this about myself for attention, however I feel genuinely confused.

I could blame Him.

The Bible is a passive media.
It doesn’t change, it doesn’t grow, and it offers limited interaction and feedback for those who do not study it at length.
I will admit that I am not the most devoted to my studies at times and this is a downfall in my argument.
But let me ask where is the God of the old testament?
The God who spoke to Moses and Noah and David.
The God who lead armies to victory and held fast a chosen people.
The God of direct interaction.
The God who engaged.

I want that!
I am jealous for that!

I take comfort that I am not alone in this struggle.
A time without God is bitter and fruitless.

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Psalm 13

For this reason, I feel I am struggling greatly.
Faith is evidence of things unseen.
I want to seen them.
Feel them.
Touch them.
But then they wouldn’t be faith.
They would be facts.

Conditioning is a bitch.
And I have been conditioned to interact and no longer be passive.
I hope God is working on a new community model.

It is called GRACE Essentials: A Handbook for Spiritual Maturity.
It was created by Living Word Community Church in York, PA, which is my home church.
And man is it hitting home right now for me.

Too often, Christianity is presented or understood only in moralistic terms. In other words, being a Christian means that we live a certain kind of moral life. We do certain things that are good, and we refrain from doing certain things which are bad. While there is a clear morality that Christ calls us to incorporate into our lives, morality is not the center of our faith. Jesus died not to make us good, but rather he died to make us his. And it is when we become his and live in intimacy with him that he changes us to make us better and more moral.


Christianity can also be misunderstood as merely a philosophy or set of beliefs. There is a Christian philosophy and there are core doctrinal beliefs that Christians need to embrace, but churches are full of people who hold to a solid Christian philosophy of life, as weel as believing the doctrines of the church, yet do not have a personal relationship with Christ.

Yeah, I’m kind of there right now.

I have been struggling in Christianity as of late.
I think it is my philosophy course that is causing this huge crack in my faith right now.
Perhaps as well as the many worldly characteristics of being in college.
Wants and desires are easy to fulfill and religion is easy to question.

I feel as if I have lost a basis of my religion.
I don’t know how this has happened.
But I feel it can be found again in Proverbs.
If nothing else (and I say this very loosely, don’t take me to be flippant about my faith) Christianity has a huge wisdom component to it that I love.
And I think this is where I was putting a lot of time and effort.
Which doesn’t quite make it–based on what Christianity is about.
Because when you say you are a Christian, you follow Christ.
My base was from a wisdom aspect.
When philosophy attacks Jesus, I coud purport to support my faith.
I was uninformed and incapable of acting because I had very little grace in this way of believing.
Which I impart, makes me wrong.

So it’s time to fix that.
Or give it up.
But I’m casting my lines to fix my viewpoints and then my actions.
Because that is what I feel is right.

Tonight I am thinking on Proverbs 18:1.

The one who lives alone is self-indulgent, showing contempt for all who have sound judgement.

I have an individualistic nature.
That is for sure.

Reading The Will to Believe by William James today, I came across this passage.

How many women’s hearts are vanquished by the mere sanguine insistence of some man that they must love him! He will not consent to the hypothesis that they cannot. The desire for a certain kind of truth here brings about that special truth’s existence; and so it is in innumerable cases of other sorts. Who gains promotions, boons, appointments, but the man in whose life they are seen to play the part of live hypotheses, who discounts them, sacrifices other things for their sake before they have come, and takes risks for them in advance ? His faith acts on the powers above him as a claim, and creates its own verification.

I found it interesting because I believe James not only speaks from observed experience, but references a parable found in Luke 18.

5 “…yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Luke 18:5-8

The paradox for me within this idea is the conflict of satiating ones desires using worldly power versus calling on a divine power to do ones bidding. James makes it sound as if a mortal can bend God to his will, this surely would detract from God’s omnipotence. However, the way it is written in Luke, God answers his “chosen ones” who “cry out to him day and night.” Is being omnibenevolent a conflict of interest when it comes to omnipotence?

Just a thought tonight and a comfort that one can actualize free will through one means or another.

18 Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.

Luke 8

But I also think of being rich in my religion and rich in love for God.

20 But God said to him, “You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich towards God.

Luke 12

Then I am conflicted. Society is telling me, ‘You need this, you need that,’ but then I read,

22 …”You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Luke 18

And it would seem being rich and being involved in the church is also a conflict of interest, yet both wealth and religion interest me very much. I see nothing wrong with being able to make money in a smart and efficient manner during this life as long as one remains humble and does not lose sight of what matters.

No matter how you spin it, the second someone hears demons, they are like, ‘Okay…. we’re living the twenty first century here…’ And I have to admit that you don’t hear of demons these days outside of cults, witchcraft, bad B-rated Halloween movies and the Gospel.

The hard part to explain to people about Christianity is the love and the message of Jesus. While you get some of that in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, the understanding of Jesus is really communicated by Paul in the later books of the New Testament. Today was good for reflecting on this.

These are the verses I liked today in my studies for Lent. Nothing to do with anything I wrote above, but thought provoking.

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10

34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness.

Luke 11

42 …because you tithe mint and rue and every herb; and pass over judgment, and the charity of God. Now these things you ought to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

Luke 11

I had an interesting day of reflection and learning. I haven’t spent this much time thinking about God in a great while and it definitely impacted how I view myself and the environment in which I live. College is a tough place to be a Christian and I can see I am partly to blame.

I wanted to share an idea that popped into my head as well as some verses from passages I read today. The idea is that of Church. I said I was going to church tonight, but it really isn’t church traditional. It isn’t a service with communion, there was worship, but the message is never a traditional one from anyone ordained. But that’s not the point. It’s the act of meeting with people of similar mindset looking to further their invest in God and God’s investment in their lives that makes it Church. Capital ‘C.’

Verses I found interesting today or spurned personal reflection.

23 This is what the LORD says:
“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,

24 but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the LORD

Jeremiah 9

24 Correct me, LORD, but only with justice—not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing.

Jeremiah 10

9 “You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions
by anointing you with the oil of joy.”

Hebrews 1

1 We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away

Hebrews 2